Saturday, May 13, 2017

#16 year Cancer Patient Says...Happy Mother's Day ...Thoughts on this Day..Mom or Not

I am a Mom.  And if you have read here for a long time you know that not only do I have cancer for 16 years ...my kids also lost their Dad in 2006 of a heart attack.  On this Mother's day here is what I have to say and it may not be what you think......(remember I am a frustrated Stand Up Comic)

Yup.....you love me kids and I love you...that is a given..in our world anyway.  And yes...let us acknowledge that we have been through some mind blowing stuff together...Way more than I ever went through as a kid and even young adult for sure.

I will leave you someday....maybe sooner than later....who knows...I even died and woke back up in 2015 so who really knows?  I will hate leaving you whenever that is...because I know that I will miss so many things in your life....both good and bad.  

I never thought that I would have kids..no less twins.......I have come to the conclusion that kids change everything...they changed everything.....every single thing in my life I thought of differently.

The only other thing to do that in my life other than my kids ....was Cancer....because of the longevity of it in my life.....My Kids and Cancer are the two events that rocked my world in the best and worst ways.  The death of my ex Husband is a close third......very close.

So my advice to anyone that wants to be a Mom is.......in no particular order....

1.  Know that someday you will leave your kids...so you must make them strong, independent, and a little crazy.....teach them that they are fabulous and should speak up with respect, common sense and wit.

2.  Know that they are watching you....they watch everything you do and say.....even if you don't think so.  They know everything and what you do now will reflect on them now or later.  They are sponges.

3.  Kids are like a bowl of cherries.....some are easy and yummy...and some ....the pits....you must plant them and watch them grow....they might bloom slowly or later in life.  Don't make them feel bad for that.  Also.....let them be different.....different is good....very good.

4.  The guilt of being a single parent if you are one.....get over it....it serves no purpose....just do the best you can and that could be enough.

5.  Laugh...Laugh a lot...Scream with Joy and Dance ...grab moments when the days are hard....grab moments when the year is hard and you seem stuck.  Teach your kids to laugh...life can change for the bad in an instant but also for the good. 

6.  If you think you should do something and you are scared...do it anyway....You know what I mean...xo

Time...every morning I wake up with tumors everywhere I can't believe I got to wake up ...I am always thinking that I am wasting time.....it is so precious!   Don't waste time....don't forget to learn how to wiggle...wiggle means not accepting no for an answer and getting around it...learn wiggling.

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