Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Cancer Survivorship...Update Info

I am still here.  My scans were stable.  I will write more shortly.  I am still here and going strong.  I am thankful and grateful.  I will be back here shortly.  Please if you are visiting for the first time there are over 500 posts!  Please read them!  They are my story!

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Cancer Survivorship...Let the Battle Begin..Again

Keep in mind that I have had this cancer for over 12 years.  Much of the Battle in not just in my body...it is in my head.  My scans are Monday and my body has been sending me messages.  My body is telling me to do something to get this crap out!  And I fear that I do not know what to do anymore.  On Tuesday I will know more.

The battle is always gathering enough strength for the next fight and how to do that.  Many people think that this is easy for me because I have been doing "it" for so long.  However with each passing year my body becomes just a little bit "less".

I know why I fight so hard...my kids...and I do love being alive.  And I do relish and enjoy the simplest pleasures...however I worry that one day one more chemo will be just too much.  And one more needle, surgery, or whatever will be something that I am just not willing to do.  I fear that ...that time is closer than I think.

This weekend this crazy person (me) is modeling lingerie ..yup...me...it is quite tasteful and beautiful...and I do it because I can :).  I do lots of things just because I can...because one day I know that I will not be able too.  A 56 year old woman modeling lingerie with stage 4 cancer ....and you would never know to see me. 

So my next fight begins and I am going into training.....in my head....I am not sure what the next months will bring...I have to prepare...I wish that I could step outside of my body and give myself a big hug.  I want to tell me that everything will be OK and I can do this.  I want to tell you that as well.

This week someone came to me and said I have cancer because of something that I did in a prior life and that she can cure me....I think that I am going to hit her next time that I see her....just say'in :).

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Cancer Survivorship..World Cancer Day

I am feeling a bit controversial today.  I am not sure the purpose of this day.  I fear that millions of dollars are actually wasted in curing this disease...lots of hype with not enough outcome due to big business, making money and how the money is spent.  Cancer is big business for millions.  I challenge you all to do better...however will you?   Drug companies, medical centers...etc How will you do better?  Insurance companies?  How will you do better?