Monday, December 24, 2012

I See You in the Moon

I will get back to business next week however it is the holidays and we think of those from the past and dream of a wonderful future.

As I have said before I look up to the moon and see you.  The moon is something we can all see with those in the present, past and future.

So this evening and every night this week I look up and see you.  I feel you and hear your voice.  I miss you.  In some cases you are in heaven.  For other folks still here I see you where ever you may be and wish you peace, joy, health, and love this holiday season. 

Look up to the moon and see everyone that you have ever known and will know. :)..more to come!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Happy Birthday Girls!

My daughters.  The 22nd is your birthday.  I did it!  I stayed here another year.  You did it!  You are 23 years old and your lives are always just beginning.  Remember that ...everyday is a new beginning. 

I do not want to be cliche here....except that I want all who read this post to know that I have my sanity only because I find something to be grateful about everyday...little things....because the big things in life come and go.  Nothing is ever one....

So unless I have that little something everyday to be thankful for...I would go nuts! :)

So I am so very thankful to be here on this matter what we do big/and or small...I love you my girls and big things are well as little things everyday.  I love you!  That is forever!

Friday, December 14, 2012

Caregivers and Relationships in Illness

This post is dedicated to all Caregivers and God Bless you for your job is so difficult.  I will not get into the statistics of how hard this job is however it is a huge one...especially if you are also a husband, wife, significant other ..lover of the ill person.

Every time I discuss sex, love and or dating in cancer my post goes a bit viral..more than any I hope this post helps many of you out there.

Many of you know that I had a significant relationship during many of my cancer years.  I had the opportunity to revisit that relationship recently.  It was not easy however I welcomed the opportunity to reflect upon it and learn from the other person involved....My way of working through it :) and it was a wonderful get together...I hate it when I learn too much :)

I am not quiet very often however at this breakfast I stayed very quiet...I just listened to the other person's side...everything has two sides...every relationship ...even in cancer.

I learned how often I just forgot to say I love you..thank you...I love you.  I learned about the pain that the other person was experiencing... that he felt he had no one to share that pain with.  I learned about what made him run from me after many years and much of it had not to do with cancer.  I ran a bit from him as well...two sides to everything...even in cancer.

I learned how to forgive and accept an apology as much as I would like to be angry... I can not.  I have nothing to be angry about anymore.  I learned that life IS sometimes about timing and when that time is done you have to have the courage to say good bye to what is lost...because sometimes you can not find it again....even if that is all that you want to do.

Cancer is a very difficult thing to NOT focus on when you are living it everyday...even when you are better...after so many always sits there somewhere in your brain.

It is also so difficult at times to rise above your circumstances when you have not learned how to do that now we know and the rest of us has melted away?  Are we that different than the people that we used to be?  I guess even in cancer have to do the same things in life as if you were well...move on....make a new life...make peace with the old...xoxoxox

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

I Did It and I am Ready

I did it.  I am sitting here in the hotel getting ready for the big drive and I did it.  I saw both my daughters graduate college.  This is my miracle for today.  I guess my next miracle is seeing them in the most wonderful careers...meeting lovely men and falling in love...maybe even someday being a grandparent....if that is in the cards.

I know whatever is in the cards for me ...good or bad...I am ready.    I am ready to laugh..and even to cry...I am ready for it all.  Bring it on...

It is a new year ....Let's keep the peace and joy coming...although let's face it...I am a nervous cancer patient....just like you :).  I am so not done!

Sunday, December 9, 2012

On That Road Again I go leaving at 3:30 in the am...on another one of my crazy road trips.  I am thankful to my daughter who went far away to college so I can take these insane drives.

With that being said how lucky I am very lucky for me that I can do this and do it well...

How lucky I am that I still get to put memories in the book for us to look at hopefully together years from now.

How lucky I am that I get to visit with new and old friends.  How lucky I am to just be here...smiling, laughing ..and wishing that I had remembered to buy a pair of gloves ..:)...I forgot...It is Winter :)!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Looking For Life....

I will not be posting much this month...I am working very hard....watching my daughter graduate college :)...doing a bit of traveling...and seeing some old and new friends...

I also have a case that I am working on as an advocate and it needs much of my attention...

I will check in next week....wishing you all health, peace, and fun!