Friday, January 20, 2012

Empty Chairs

This blog is dedicated to my friend whose name I will not mention however you know who you are.  I love you.  I help to facilitate an in person support group for Sarcoma.  I have actually participated in several support groups since 2001.  I found them to be an enormous source of support however I know that they are not for everyone.

One of the reasons they are not for everyone is that many times people in the group actually pass away.  And many times they heal ...and many times they just move away to be with family :).  I thought it important to let you all know what I have learned from all of the people that I have been in these groups with.  Some of them have helped to save my life...especially emotionally.  I have learned to fight and accept certain things from them and much more.

I have learned that there are living angeles among us.  That once inawhile you can look into someones eyes and know that you are in the presence of great strength and dignity.  That no matter how long we are here on this earth...that I am a better person for having spent my precious time with you.

The moment you walked into group I could hear your soft voice...however behind it, I knew that you were going to fight.  I could hear your strength....like a pleasant but powerful breeze.  And I know that you will keep fighting as long as you can. 

All our days will come someday.  I have no idea why I am still here.  I rejoice in that everyday.  I am stronger because of my heroes both living and passed away that I have had the honor to meet.  They have taught me how to live and how to die.  I will have more heroes in my life...this I know.  For each empty chair in group...another person will come fill it and I will do the best that I can to help.  I love you...and you have made quite an impact on my life.  God Bless you and your family!

Radio show is the first week in Feb...details to come.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Radio Show

Hi Everyone,

I am beginning a radio show the first week in February on blog talk radio...details to follow...I will not be typing very much until then.  I decided typing was not enough for me!  :)  If there is something that you want to talk about please let me know and I will try my best.  I will be focusing on all things medical...dealing with long term illness...the emotional, functional, and financial aspects of dealing with this disease from my perspective ...as a cancer patient for over 10 years.

I am going to be honest and opinionated as well.   It will be an hour twice a week and if you can't tune in you will be able to download and listen at your leisure.  I will be having guests as well...people in all kinds of professions in the medical world starting end of Feb/beginning of March.

If you like my blog...I hope that you will listen!

Thanks So Very Much!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I Should Have Just Decked the Guy!

Today I actually had a great day.  I attended Entrepreneur Magazine's awards luncheon and seminars.  At breakfast I happened to have sat down next to a gentleman.  We started talking about life...what we do ...etc.  He calls himself a "Natural Healing Coach".  I thought here we go....I did not tell him yet that I am a long, long, long, time cancer survivor.

Just so you all know....I have done everything..all of the conventional and many unconventional therapies..I have seen people with a little cancer eventually pass away quickly and others with cancer everywhere live a very long time.  I have come to my own conclusions that we do the best we can and I think when God really wants us....we are gone...

Cancer is not the patient's fault...obviously if you were involved with chemicals unknowingly...smoked...etc...I am speaking generally of course...it is never your fault...patient's often feel guilty about being ill...especially when it comes to family and close friends...it is not your fault..ever..

This "gentleman" I now use the term loosely..proceeds to tell me how cancer in his mind is not a disease..it is a mindset and everyone can cure themselves with the correct mindset and his help!  Could you see my blood just boiling...I just stared at him for a moment...a long moment into his eyes and said," Your kidding right?"
"Are you for real?".  I just got up...and went to another table.  I had a great time. 

I came home ....took a very long walk...and wish that I had just decked him...

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Snap, Crackle, & Pop

If you are in your 50's...no ...this is not a cereal commercial :)...I still love Rice Crispies.  I have seen the doc..gained three lbs..most females would be freaking out over this...for me it is a miracle!  I need 5 more...eating after abdominal surgery...or 11 surgeries is a chore...tasting things is fabulous...digesting food is whole other story...

Staying hydrated is a big deal as well...I know every bathroom from Orange County to the San Fernando Valley off the 405....every Starbucks at every exit..:).

I think I have experienced every emotion quickly...so that I can get back to work and be as normal as possible...no scans for 8 weeks...people are again looking at me saying..."Are you sure you just had surgery 5 weeks ago?"...trust me my insides know...and I am happy that you can't tell...I think :).

Tai Chi and Chi Gong...here I come...with 8 weeks of a normal life I need to be in motion...breathe properly and work.  I am praying..praying...for many months of peace....if something pops up quickly...I am just not leaving "normal" for awhile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!